Inspired from the discussion in my previous post.
And surprisingly not the first stand-alone fanfic I’ve ever written. But it should probably be the last.
; )
INT. A DARK, CROWDED PUB – LOCATION UNKNOWN – NIGHT
Angel and Connor are seated at an old wooden table. They are roaring drunk. Angel has a glass of red wine in front of him. Connor has a bottle of beer.
ANGEL
(holding his glass, staring into space)
I like blondes.
CONNOR
(*burp*)
I prefer brunettes, myself.
ANGEL
But any gal I go out with definitely needs
to be able to kick my ass.
CONNOR
(eyes furtive)
Er…gotta say I’m with you on that one, Dad.
And they need to be bossy. Don’t forget that.
ANGEL
Even though we’re super-beings.
CONNOR
(lifting his beer)
Like father, like son!
ANGEL
(frowning)
…With an apparent masochistic streak.
CONNOR
And a sadistic streak, don’t forget that.
ANGEL
(dreamily)
Yeah, poking people’s eyes out with a pike.
Good times.
CONNOR
(nodding, staring into space)
…Pulling the antennae off Sluks.
ANGEL
(lifting a bottle of wine)
Have some Cabernet.
CONNOR
(blech-tongue)
I hate wine!
I’ll stick to beer.
ANGEL
That’s because you go to college.
(grins big)
My son, the college man.
CONNOR
God, Dad. You’re such a dork.
ANGEL
Shall we head out and find more demons
to massacre?
CONNOR
(nodding)
Let’s.
Author Nancy E. Shaffer 
LOL. Cute.
But UTTERLY POINTLESS.
; )
Hee hee.
Hee — very cute!
And I was sober when I wrote it.
I think.
awww it’s cute. You wrote fluff.
You wrote fluff.
Hence the pointlessness. Because ALL my fic should be pointy! And angsty! I take my Congel very seriously.
Hence the pointlessness. Because ALL my fic should be pointy! And angsty! I take my Congel very seriously
I know the feeling. Every time I manage something humorous, I look at it and ponder how the hell I managed it. I’m all about the angst
Well, when I want my Congel fic to be taken seriously, it’s all about the angst. That is, after all, what draws fans to teh CoNgEl. Or, you know, just Connor.
But silly dialogue goes through my head all the time. Hell, dialogue in general goes through my head all the time. This time it just said, “Hey, I’m a short, entertaining vignette! Post me!”
Now back to your regularly schedule ANGST.
But silly dialogue goes through my head all the time. Hell, dialogue in general goes through my head all the time. This time it just said, “Hey, I’m a short, entertaining vignette! Post me!”
I hear you. ANd my editors are happy for the breaks. I’m probably driving them all to suicide at this point
Aw, but I love it! And look what you’ve done, it’s after 3am for me and they’re not shutting up. *grin*
———————
LATER THAT NIGHT, BACK AT THE SAME PUB
Several bottles of beer are on the table. Angel and Connor are drunker than before.
CONNOR: So, blondes, huh?
ANGEL: (nodding) Yup. They’re feistier.
CONNOR: I thought the word was ‘dumber.’
ANGEL: (frowning) Buffy’s not dumb.
CONNOR: Didn’t she ditch you for Spike?
ANGEL: (opens his mouth, doesn’t say anything) Darla! (Angel exclaims triumphantly, banging on the table with his beer bottle, sloshing liquid everywhere) Not dumb at all. In fact, she’s probably the smartest woman I’ve ever met. (smiling dorkily as he reminisces) And hot. Boy, was she-
CONNOR: (looking at Angel with a raised eyebrow)
ANGEL: (feeling uncomfortable as he realizes he’s talking about Connor’s mother) Uh. (looks at the beer bottle he’s holding while a moment of awkward silence stretches on) Nina. (looks up hopefully) She’s not- (frowns) She’s…cute.
CONNOR: (shrugging) Not a furry.
ANGEL: (opens his mouth, doesn’t say anything)
CONNOR: Brunettes are feisty. And smart. And hot. (looking at Angel) I’ll bet you’ve kissed more brunettes than blondes.
ANGEL: I’ve- a few. (tries to sound nonchalant)
CONNOR: (half smiling) Like…Faith?
ANGEL: Yeah, but-
CONNOR: (cutting him off) Fred?
ANGEL: Yeah. (nods slowly) But-
CONNOR: (softly) Cordy?
ANGEL: (frowning a little) Yes, but-
CONNOR: (leaning forward, smiling again) When she was a blonde or a brunnette?
ANGEL: I- (runs a hand over his face, sighing) Brunette. (he says in a defeated tone)
CONNOR: Ha! (bangs the beer bottle he’s holding on the table, sloshing more liquid) You are so paying for the beer. (pauses, looking with narrowed eyes at Angel’s somewhat closed off, cautious expression) There’s more you’re not telling me, isn’t there?
ANGEL: (a moment of silence as he thinks about Dru, Gwen, Spike wearing a brown-haired wig) You want any fries with that?
———————
Hee, sorry! 🙂
Connor fluff! You wrote Connor and Angel fluff! Hee, it’s so cute.
You know, if all fic was this length… I might read more of it.
Right…..unknown location! Pffft! It’s not as if we haven’t narrowed it down to Austria or Amsterdam.
No, that’s damned funny. They totally forgot to go beat up demons (which they shouldn’t have done drunk, anyway), and continued to get sloshed into the wee hours.
Now picturing Nina hanging out with the Furry kink community.
And we *all* know Spike is really a brunette. Get rid of the lousy bleach job, and…oh!
The location is left open as an exercise for the reader.
; )
I’m actually congenitally unable to write short fic. Everything has to be a novel, a television season, or a trilogy of one of those.
This vignette will no doubt lead to an on-going whacky “Angel and Son” situation comedy starring David Boreanaz and Vincent Kartheiser.
I think it was some fluff I found on my carpet. Almost vacuumed it up, actually.
Perils of fanfic.
Angel getting soused on cabernet? No wonder his Irish father thought he was a good-for-nothing…
;o)
The location is left open as an exercise for the reader
Damn, if I had known there’d be homework, I’d kept my big mouth shut and slouched down at the back of the class.
Re: Perils of fanfic.
His tastes have changed since his ale-and-wenches days.
Short, entertaining vignettes are such sluts. They nab me all the time, and positively encourages my bad habits.
I’m *so* not the short, entertaining vignette girl, though! I’m strictly into long-term relationships when it comes to writing fic!
Now I need some of your sugar-free dieting chutzpa to rub off on me.
:Dies of joy:
Adorable. That totally should have happened.
Did you read ‘s sequel below??
Re: Perils of fanfic.
It was that evil Darla. She not only took away his soul, she took away his Irish dignity and his ability to hold his liquor, which admittedly wasn’t very great in the first place. ;o)
Re: Perils of fanfic.
A now he’s a great poof. In leather.
Re: Perils of fanfic.
Or at least a great dork in black.
Re: Perils of fanfic.
Or at least a great dork in black.
Which is why I relate to him so much!
Hey, maybe this should be like a fic round! You know, everyone takes a turn and writes something, and we see where it ends up?
:Ermm, for all those who can actually write, y’know**
Hey, I’m game. Angel and Connor make a fun comedy team.
Ok, now I’ve read the sequel.
Nina’s cute. :snickers:
Damn straight on non-bleach Spike. Fool-For-Love William the Bloody was the prettiest, and I have no idea what the deal with the bad wigs later on was all about. In my brain, sometime post-NFA it goes like this:
Angel: I kinda liked your natural color. In fact, I liked the whole brown thing you had going for you.
Spike: Yeah, well we’ve discussed before how bad your taste is.
(A few weeks later)
Angel: You shaved it all off!
Spike: It’s the new punk. Gotta update sometime.
And then he just lets it grow out, and refuses to acknowledge that Angel’s comment has anything to do with it.
So the 19th century human William…he died his hair blond, too?
; )
Possibly. The costume people were on *crack*. See Angel/us’s bad hair through the ages.
The wig he was wearing as Angel in the Angel vs. Angelus alley scene in “Orpheus” was probably the single worse wig job I have ever seen, EVER. Worse than the ’70’s diner hair, which was at least accurate, if unflattering on David.
I thought most of the flashbacks to Angelus in the past were fine, though.
for whatever reason, I find the bad hair very funny. Though I refuse to believe Darla would have allowed him out of the house unless he looked A) impeccable or B) completely dishevelled.
Hee! Very cute! Man, Angel and Connor are so fabulous together… And drunk! *giggles insanely*
Great little scene. A welcome distraction from work.
In my mind they went to fight demons, clumsily killed a couple and went back to the bar to celebrate. I was going to throw in a bit more of detail — Angel’s torn shirt, pink blood on Connor’s — but I was half asleep, I got up in the middle of the night to write that so they’d shut up and let me go back to sleep. *grin* I’m amazed it even makes sense. At least I’m assuming it does. 😉
Do you remember that lunatic who posted on ATPO…
… who thought that Angel(us) really existed in some dimension and he was possessed by him?
As I recall, he claimed Angelus drank Californian Merlot, which showed quite unambiguously that he wasn’t in touch with the real Angelus. I suspect that Angelus doesn’t actually know a thing about wine, but would refuse to drink any Merlot that didn’t come from Bordeaux as an easy way to look cultured.
Re: Do you remember that lunatic who posted on ATPO…
There was a guy who called himself “Angel”. He wrote to me a lot and posted at the board and invited us all to read his deadjournal, where he talked about his (un)life. I believe he was married as well.
I like that. The story was in your head and you had to write it down before you forgot it. That’s how it happens to me, every time. It just pops into my head, usually at the most inopportune moments. But when it’s not forced like that, that’s when it’s good.
Darla may have been into fine wines and fashions and all of that, but one thing you may have noticed about women is they’ll put up with a lot more grunge in their men than will be tolerated vice-versa.
Re: Do you remember that lunatic who posted on ATPO…
I believe he was married as well.
Snerk lolol.
It always happens to me that way when I write, I can never force it. And the ideas pop into my head at the most inopportune moments too, LOL. I think that might be a cosmic law or something. *grin*
You would think, but there are actually some people who work best when they actually sit down with a pen or keyboard and put their mind to it.
Very weird people.
; )
*giggles*
That was cute! *hearts Connor/Angel father-son bonding*
I just had the scariest thought: a TD musical episode. With David Boreanaz singing.
Yikes!!!
Don’t tempt me!
Wow, if you find that idea tempting, then you *are* a sadist.
You could do the whole thing from the point of view of Lorne having a horrible nightmare. Okay, I’ll stop now.
I may have to find a way to fold that scene into TD this season.
Oooh, if it was a dream, I could have Darla in it. I could have anyone I wanted in it!