More tales of Masq, unhip lesbian TV whore extraordinaire

Snippets of conversation from last night’s on-going L-Word marathon with my friend Ann:


Ann: Oh, c’mon. These women are supposed to be in their late twenties. They shouldn’t have even heard of ‘Closer to Fine’.
Masq: The Indigo Girls aren’t in anymore?
Ann: *askance look*

Masq: The ‘best-friend stage that immediately follows a break up’? OK, I take it back. They actually do have lesbian writers on this show…. But if one of the characters says ‘U-Haul’, I’m going to yak.
Ann: I think someone might, because Dana’s totally U-Hauling.
Masq: Yeah, and I guess they did have that ‘you can tell if a woman’s a lesbian by the length of her fingernails thing’ a few episodes back.

Masq: I don’t get this ‘Drag King’ thing. I mean, can you say, ‘total rip-off of gay male culture’?
Masq, a few minutes later: I guess some women would find dressing up like a man and lip-syncing a liberating experience. I just wish they’d called it something other than ‘Drag Kings’.
Masq, a few minutes after that: I could totally see myself in a zoot suit and slicked back hair crooning Brian Ferry tunes.

Masq: OMG. They totally marginalize butch-femme on this show.
Ann: Well, it’s L.A. It’s so anti-PC, it’s PC.

Masq: Watching this show makes me feel completely inadequate about my love-life.
Ann: Well, sure. It’s TV. What normally happens to us over the span of five years happens to them over the span of five months.

Masq: So what do you think of the carpenter? She seems like your type.
Ann: She’s actually not working for me.
(cut to after the Bette/carpenter hotel scene)
Ann: OK, she’s working for me now.

Masq: Is it *wrong* of me to find Shane completely hot?
Ann: After the last episode, I’m thinking yes.
Masq: My therapist tells me that if I’m completely in lust with a woman at first sight, I should turn around and run the other way. Fast. I’m beginning to see her point.

Masq: Wow, I always thought that the Dinah Shore Invitational was a pretentious sports tournament for people who actually enjoy watching golf. Turns out it’s a giant lesbian orgy. Who knew?
Ann: I’m going.
Masq: Me, too.

Bette/Tina is love

♥ Bette/Tina is love

Bette/Tina is love

♥ Bette/Tina is love

17 thoughts on “More tales of Masq, unhip lesbian TV whore extraordinaire

  1. When I first started watching this show, I thought it was written by a bunch of straight guys (or straight women) because it seemed utterly ignorant of lesbian culture.

    Turns out it’s so full of lesbian in-jokes and sub-cultural references, a straight person would probably not “get” any of the above conversational snippets.

  2. Once when I was about 18, and apparently I was making too many comments about little balls for my boyfriend and his friends to be amused. Never played after that. Not one for games I am!

  3. Masq: Wow, I always thought that the Dinah Shore Invitational was a pretentious sports tournament for people who actually enjoy watching golf. Turns out it’s a giant lesbian orgy. Who knew?
    Ann: I’m going.
    Masq: Me, too.

    Me three!

  4. It’s also apparently a great way to meet chicks. I might have to take a break during my next walk and putt a few onto the green.

  5. Maybe they have the Australian equivalent of the Dinah Shore Tournament in the Australian equivalent of Palm Springs?

  6. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    The only thing even remotely like that is the G & L Mardi Gras Dance Party in Sydney. And I’m too old for that, and it’s full of bloody british backpackers on E anyway.

  7. I’m sorry I can’t comment anything witty, instead I really have to ask about the U-Haul and I guess PC is something else than a personal computer :D. Then I staterd to think of women who could work for me and I came up with Talia Shire (the actress that plays the sister in The Gosfather trilogy. If I could choose my looks, I’d choose to look like she did in the third installment. She’s absolutely stunning.

  8. A U-Haul is a rental truck that people use to move from one home to another. There’s an expression “U-Haul on the second date” which is kind of a joke, but also serious, about how lesbians sometimes fall into a committed relationship with each other too fast. Like the day after they first have sex, or first have a date. On the show, a character, Dana, sleeps with a woman she just met at the Dinah Shore Tournament and the next day they’re holding hands and making googly eyes and a few weeks later they say they’re getting married.

    Women. Sheesh.

    PC stands for “Politically Correct”. I’ll explain that more if you want me to.

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