That babel fish meme

Take a passage from one of your fics, translate it in Babelfish into a language of your choice, then back to English.



Connor slowly approaches the WOMAN, his expression uneasy. She’s diminutive and dressed in a long, sheer white dress and bare feet. She tilts her head back towards him. Her voice is low and sultry, yet sweetly feminine.

You’re very resourceful.

Connor steps forward, his make-shift stake clenched in his fist.

Clever. Strong. Fast.
And you move just like him.

She turns around, her face still hidden by shadows.

Connor raises his chin.

Just looking at you, I knew.
You could be no one else….

She walks towards him, stepping into the light coming from the back door.

CLOSE-UP on Connor’s stake hand. It TREMBLES.

The woman tilts her head and smiles. Her long blonde hair slides off her shoulder.

…but my darling boy.


Connor si avvicina lentamente alla DONNA, la sua espressione uneasy. È diminutive e vestita in un vestito bianco lungo e puro e nei piedi nudi. Inclina la sua testa indietro verso lui. La sua voce è bassa e sultry, tuttavia dolce femminile.

Siete molto inventivi.

Passi avanti, il suo palo improvvisato di Connor serrato in suo pugno.

Intelligente. Forte. Veloce
e voi muovasi appena come lui.

Gira intorno, la sua faccia ancora nascosta dalle ombre.

Connor alza il suo mento.

Appena guardandoli, ho saputo.
Potreste essere nessun altro….

Cammina verso lui, facendo un passo nella luce che viene dal portello posteriore.

PRIMO PIANO sulla mano del palo del Connor. TREMA.

La donna inclina la sua testa e sorride. I suoi capelli lunghi del blonde fanno scorrere la sua spalla.

… ma il mio ragazzo caro.


Connor is approached the WOMAN slowly, its expression uneasy. Diminutive and it is dressed in a dressed long and pure white man and in the feet knots. It behind tilts its head towards he. Its voice is low and sultry, however sweet feminine.

You are a lot invents to you.

Steps ahead, its unexpected pole of Connor locked in its fist.

Intelligent. Strongly. Fast
and you move hardly like he.

It turns around, its face still hidden from the shadows. Connor raises its mento.

Hardly watching them, I have known.
You could be no other….

It walks towards he, making a step in the light that comes from the posterior hatch.

ASSOCIATION OF BOLOGNA on the hand of the pole of the Connor. IT SHAKES.

The woman tilts its head and sorride. Its long hats of the blonde make to slide its shoulder.

… but to my boy beloved.

the pole of the Connor *snerk*

41 thoughts on “That babel fish meme

  1. “Association Of Bologna…”

    I know. Where the fuck did *that* come from?

    I tried to use the Japanese and Russian, but it wouldn’t give me any translation from English.

  2. Apparently “CLOSE-UP” becomes “PRIMO PIANO” becomes “ASSOCIATION OF BOLOGNA”.

    That makes perfect sense to me.

    X o )P

  3. Lost in Translation.

    Now you know why when I asked students to write simple stories in Russian, I also asked them to stick to Russian they already knew!

    I remember in high school our Spanish teacher encouraging us older students to try writing in Spanish by showing us the poetry of a first-year student. He admitted he didn’t quite understand all of it. I figured out the first line which included ‘mosca al cielo,’ pretty quick. The enraptured freshman wanted to say “fly to heaven,” but picked the noun ‘housefly’ instead of the verb ‘to fly.’

  4. Re: Lost in Translation.

    I can understand a computer messing “(house) fly” with “to fly”, but how “CLOSE-UP” ends up being “ASSOCIATION OF BOLOGNA”…..

  5. I tried to use the Japanese and Russian, but it wouldn’t give me any translation from English.

    prolly depends on your browser settings. Voila, ‘the hair of blondinky’ and ‘Close-up of the stick hand of カナー’ (カナー is Connor in Japanese):

    via Japanese: カナー the woman, gets near to insecure that expression slowly. She to be long, be small with the thin white clothes and naked foot, being able to dress the clothes. Her head it can tilt her in that one. Her voice is low, is muggy, however to be sweet the woman seems. Woman very in idea 冨 む. The く it is with that fist and it walks カナー, in the dog point of that makeshift which is bound. Woman intelligence. It is strong. (Sound) be fast, that way of you move exactly. She turns her surface which hides still with the shadow. カナー lifts that jaw. The woman seeing exactly, I had known. …. She who everyone can walks to that one, walks in the light/write which comes from the backdoor. Close-up of the stick hand of カナー. That trembles. Her head it can tilt the woman, smiles. It slides the fair-hair where she is long from her shoulder separated. But DARLA… boy of my most love.

    via Russian: Connor slowly moors TO WOMAN, to its expression uneasy. It is diminutive and odet’na in the dlinnem, perpendicular white dress and barely feet. It overturns its head back to it. Its voice is low and sultry, but it is sweet feminine. WOMAN you are very resourceful. Step forward, its temporary if Connor obkhvashchennyy in its fist. WOMAN it is clever. It is strong. It is rapid (impact) and they move exactly as it. It turns all around, its side still hidden by shadows. Connor raises its chin. WOMAN exactly of smotryashch you, I knew. You could be no one else…. She goes for a walk to it, shagayushch into the light coming from the rear door. Close-up on the hand if Connor’s. It SHAKES. Woman overturns its head and yue usmedetsya. Its dlinniye the hair of blondinky slip down from its arm. DARLA… but my darling boy.

  6. Re: Lost in Translation.

    LOL. Poor Connor, and poor Darla…they have no idea what they do, and in several languages! This reminds me of the time when I was learning Spanish..after living in Greece my brain was geared to Greek/English. Trying to speak Spanish always got mixed up with Greek, so I was incomprehensible in any language. Hee.

  7. OK, I think I get how “close-up” could be “primo piano,” which I’m guessing literally means “1st plane.” 1st = closest? & each “plane” is at a given distance from the subject? That makes some sense. But from there to “Association of Bologna”? Huh?

    I seem to have gotten a little obsessed w/this question. I tried the translation function of, & it came up w/the same thing! Then I tried, which must use another system, because it showed some much more reasonable translations: “close up,” “first floor,” “foreground (area closest to the viewer – cinema).” Then I tried Googling the relevant phrases, & surprise, surprise, it turns out this is a known phenomenon. In Italian, anyway. Unfortunately, Google’s translation function doesn’t really do the story justice, but here it is anyway. You can click at the top to see it in the original Italian, if that’s any help. Apparently this was written in March of 2002. And there’s a BBS comment from Dec. 2004 on the same thing. It seems to just be some weird glitch. That hasn’t been fixed in 3-1/2 years! Masq, you may be the 1st English speaker to discover it! Wanna email Babelfish about it?

    I like how Darla’s name translates to “to give it.” And then there’s “Its long hats of the blonde”! I don’t get why it couldn’t translate “blonde” into Italian in the 1st place, though.

  8. Re: Russkij

    Its dlinniye the hair of blondinky slip down from its arm.

    Why it couldn’t translate some of this back is puzzling. The rest is so ridiculously understandable in how it fouled up.

  9. Re: Lost in Translation.

    I also tried to translate this passage into Greek, but my browser would have none of it.


  10. Oh! I got it!

    The Connor approach late the WOMAN, his expression difficult. Her diminutive and dressed in long, clean white dress and naked legs. Ge’rnej head back to ton her voice she is low and suffocating, however gently cilyki’.

    You are a lot of polymi’hanoj.

    Steps to front Connor, his provisional stake that is tightened in his fist.

    Intelligent. Powerful. Fast
    and you are moved precisely as ton

    Turns around, her person that is hidden still by the shades.

    The Connor increases his chin.

    Precisely examining you, I knew.
    You could be no one…. differently

    It walks to, that perpatej’ in the light that emanates from the pj’sw door.

    KJNIMATOGRAFISI IN FIRST PLAN in readiness of stakes Connor. IT TREMBLES.

    The woman ge’rnej her head and grins. Her long Xanthi trj’ha slips her shoulder.

    but my boy of loves.

  11. Connor has his unexpected pole and his mentos so he’s set to take on the association of Bologna (what is that like a tourism placement ad for Italy?) Yours was WAY funnier than mine

  12. I tried out a bunch of them until I found one that was funny. After reading ‘s, I wanted one equally as funny.

  13. Well, I hadn’t noticed until I took the passage from out of its context that it’s very sensual, and somewhat unintentionally erotic, so that you get a real incestuous vibe if you know the WOMAN and Connor are actually mother and son.

  14. Now, now, now…none of that kinky unexpected pole/WOMAN ‘shipper stuff. We don’t want Connor raising his mento again.

  15. Re: Lost in Translation.

    The funniest one in my experience was one of my mother’s pupils in a French exam (in which people were allowed to use dictionaries).

    Je poubelle nager for “I can swim”.

  16. Hee!

    Connor benadert langzaam de VROUW, zijn _ moeilijke uitdrukking. Zij heeft verkleinwoord en gekleed in een lange, zuivere witte kleding en naakte voeten. Zij helt haar over hoofdrug naar hem. Haar stem is laag en sultry, nog zoet vrouwelijk. VROUW U bent zeer vindingrijk. Voorwaartse de stappen van Connor, zijn voorlopige staak die in zijn vuist wordt dichtgeklemd. VROUW Knap. Sterk. Snel (sla) en u beweegt zich enkel als hem. Zij draait zich om, haar gezicht dat nog door schaduwen wordt verborgen. Connor heft zijn kin op. VROUW Enkel bekijkend u, wist ik het. U zou kunnen zijn niemand anders…. Zij loopt naar hem, die in het licht stapt dat uit de achterdeur komt. CLOSE-UP op de staakhand van Connor. Het BEEFT. De vrouw helt haar hoofd over en glimlacht. Haar lang blonde haar glijdt haar schouder weg. DARLA …but mijn darling jongen.

    Connor approach slowly the WOMAN, are _ difficult expression. They diminutive has dressed and in a long, pure white clothing and naked feet. She tends her concerning head back to him. Its voice is low and sultry, still sweeten female.

    you are very ingenious.

    Forward the steps of Connor, its provisional prop which is closed in its fist.

    nice. Strong. Fast (lettuce) and you move yourself only as him.

    She twists themselves for, its face which is hidden still by shadow.

    Connor raise its chin.

    only examining you, knew I it.
    You could be no one else….

    They runs to him, that slightly steps in that from the backdoor comes.

    CLOSE-UP on the prop hand of Connor. It TREMBLES.

    The woman inclines its head and smiles. Its long blonde her slips away its shoulder.

    … but my darling give birth.

  17. Now, now, now…none of that kinky unexpected pole/WOMAN ‘shipper stuff. We don’t want Connor raising his mento again

    He’s have to raise his mento hard and fast against that. No fears, incest is not best here

  18. ‘The prop hand of Connor trembles’? is that because its touching the pole? LOL

    And its great to see the ambiguities of Dutch in English: ‘haar’ = ‘her’ AND ‘hair’, ‘ze’ = ‘they’ AND ‘she’, ‘but mijn darling jongen’ = ‘my darling boy’ (the ‘but’ is only English so I’m not sure what its doing in there)

    In other news, we translated ‘There can be only one’ into Dutch and adding in all the Dutch usual words, it comes out: ‘Er mag er alleen maar een zijn’ (There allowed there only but one is). Yes, sometimes my head hurts when I’m using Dutch!

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