The end of days

15 May

Current music: I don’t listen to music! Honestly, why can’t they have…
Current book: “The Man Who Fell to Earth” by Walter Tevis
Current film: “Tuck Everlasting” with the beautiful Jonathan Jackson and the absolutely to melt for Amy Irving

People are getting all gooey the past few days on the board, waxing nostalgic and heaping praise on each other and on the board itself and generally acting like it’s the last day of school before graduation.

Part of me understands their reasons, part of me is panicked that all the non AtS-watchers are just going to disappear under the assumption that there will be no more Buffy talk on the board. And maybe they don’t want to talk about it if there is nothing new to talk about, but among us think-too-muchers, there is plenty to talk about.

Last night’s A&E special brought it all back. Seasons 1 through 3–my personal favorites, the angst that was season 2 and the beauty of the ending of “Becoming, pt 2”. I didn’t join fandom until after “Lover’s Walk”, but I did start lurking at the Bronze at the end of Becoming pt 2 because I needed reassurance that Angel wasn’t gone. Angelus be damned, and maybe because of Angelus in part, Angel had become my favorite character and he had to come back.

I basically remembered why I liked this show in the first place, because there haven’t been a lot of reminders in recent seasons. Episodes like “Selfless” and “OMWF” are exceptions to that, but my interest in the show has been kind of mechanical, as going-through-the-motions as Buffy herself. And I will complete the episode analyses because I believe in completeness.

But part of me really needs a break from it all. I suppose I’ll cry, too, next Tuesday night at nine, for old time’s sake, but I don’t think it’ll really sink in until later. Right now, I’m too burnt out, in need of a break from the episode analyses and the board. The absolutely bizarre ending of AtS Season 4 didn’t help with that much.

So this blog will, hopefully, become a place for me to talk about other things, non-Buffy things, non-Angel things, a little, more intimate community where I feel a bit more free and more open to self-expression.

Not that I’m criticizing my own board. It is an amazing place, so I’m told, very different from other internet communities. I don’t know. I don’t go to other boards. But it has its share of human foibles aggravated by the medium of the internet and sometimes you just need to hang back, step away, even if it is the last week of new episodes.

So back to my movie, which is promising to be a magical thing with beautiful boys and tom-boyish girls and immortality and deep poetic narrative and joy and contemplative philosophical moments.

2 Responses to “The end of days”

  1. rahael May 15, 2003 at 6:52 am #

    Well said Masq
    I’ve been having the exact same reaction myself.
    But never fear, there are people who still will want to discuss the great eps of BtVS and the new AtS eps. Umm, namely me!!
    Also, re the board – it goes through phases. Of late, because the plot developments all seem so crucial (i.e, there’s no new season to fix them) I think people are defensive and edgy. Moreover, while a season is going on, no matter how disappointing it is, there is always the need to defend it. Season 6 has become a lot less controversial now there is no need to defend the latest ep, week in week out.
    But I’m finding my current reaction to be very similar to yours. I’m optimistic that everything will calm down.

  2. angeyja May 15, 2003 at 11:06 pm #

    magical things
    I’ll echo that and raise it a bit; but also what Rah said…thing is there are constants on the board but there’s flow and flux also. And thank you for what you wrote later about the movie. I’ve been eying it but wasn’t sure… sounds like something I would like…I’ll have to give it a try.
    So this LJ will, hopefully, become a place for me to talk about other things, non-Buffy things, non-Angel things, a little, more intimate community where I feel a bit more free and more open to self-expression.
    Great! And there’s another echo of my feelings… I owe you a reply mail on this theme. But everytime I started to write it tonight I just got tangled up in words and finally said pfft! and started internet play. Much more fun! Now I just need to imbibe some suitably soporific reading material… and get myself tucked in… late night for me!

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