Philosophically brunette

So, I rented “Legally Blonde” from netflix. That’s about the level of intelligence in movies I can deal with these days. Pretty brain-fried this summer. Movie-lite is the order of the day. Now, I realize every character in this movie is a caricature (hence why I won’t go into a rant about the stereotypical way they depicted gay men), but this Elle woman just puzzles the hell out of me.

I don’t get women like her. I mean, it’s one thing to be high-maintenance to the people around you, it’s another thing entirely to be high maintenance to yourself. When does she find time to study for her Harvard Law classes between shopping, doing her hair, nails, make-up, leg waxes, and every other thing she has to do to look the way she does?

I’ve never understood why some women spend so much time and money on that kind of stuff. I used to assume it was All About Attracting Men, and that they’d been brain-washed by our consumerist society into thinking they Had to do this, but that deep down in their heart of hearts, they didn’t want to. One reason I became a feminist in junior high school was so that I could rebel against this sort of slavery. I mean, I feel put out because, ever since I decided to grow my hair out long, I have to blow-dry my hair everyday. Some days, I just don’t wash my hair at all because I hate wasting 15 minutes with that damned blow-dryer.

Of course, as I grew older and wider in experience, I realized some women actually enjoy spending a sizeable chunk of their time getting facials and manicures and shopping for new shoes. And it really doesn’t have much to do with Getting A Guy, although apparently it doesn’t hurt in that regard, either. I think this lesson was really hit home for me when I started getting to know some drag queens. I mean, guys have it easy in the getting-ready-for-the-new-day department. Shit, shower and shave, throw on a pair of pants, and you’re out the door. This was always my ideal, except for the shaving part. Then I meet these men who seem to enjoy the whole business of getting trussed-up in complicated outfits and make-up and shoes.

People who actually wear high-heels by choice? I mean, it’s like voluntarily choosing foot-binding. “Gee, I want to make myself completely helpless if some deranged criminal started chasing me down the street.”

But, see, the truth is, I have always been one of those women born to wear sensible shoes, slacks that actually have back pockets (for pencils and billfolds), and just a smidge of mascara to bring out my eyes.

But back to Elle. I realize “Legally Blonde” isn’t a complete marshmallow movie. The idea here is “she can be [stereotyically] womanly and smart” (as if we all believed that was a contradiction in terms). And I know OnM and some of the other board guys were very Impressed by this movie and the actress who plays her. Different strokes.

For me, it’s fluff, because I need fluff, I can’t deal with too much seriousness this summer. So, bonus points to LB for keeping my head out of the murk.

But she loses mega-points for dissing Rachel Welch because she’s a brunette.

Messiah complex

Enjoying my vacation in Arizona. I’ve spent most of my time relaxing and watching movies. Mostly movies on cable, since I’m trying to get some work done on my novel and who wants to venture out into the 110-degree heat, anyway?

But I have gone out twice now to the movie theater, once to see “Matrix 2” and then again to see “Terminator 3”. I can’t think of the last time I went to a newly-released movie on opening day, but since I’m on vacation, I can hit the less-crowded morning matinee. Plus I had the probably not-coincidental good fortune to catch both “Terminator” and “Terminator 2” on cable this week before Wednesday, so I was pretty primed for T3.

Spoilers for Terminator 3, Matrix 2, Season 4 AtS

Taking the red pill

The Matrix starts out with intriguing promise: you know exactly where it’s going–Neo’s world isn’t real–but that’s cool. You want to see what they’ll do with that, especially after Morpheus says to him,

“You’ve felt it your entire life. That there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind.”

Then he wakes up in that vat in the “real world” and it’s so chilling!

After that, the movie falls into a familiar ennui-filled post-apocalyptic sci-fi mode that is broken only by action!packed moments of gratuitous violence. The basic premise behind the future world is incredibly lame–machines harvesting people for energy? Puh-lease. There are much more efficient ways to create energy. This was something someone made up at the last minute to have an excuse to keep humans locked up in virtual reality.

The philosophical quandary the movie’s premise turns on is also nothing new. It’s a contemporary spin on an empiricist brain-teaser that’s been around since the 17th century–“just because we can sense things with our five senses, does that make them real?” Philosophers call this “problem of the external world”. Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘s “Normal Again“, in which Buffy is shown switching disorientingly back and forth between the story world we’ve come to know on the show where she is a small-town superhero, and another life, in which she is institutionalized and only imagines she’s a small-town superhero, did a better job of driving home that philosophical dilemma and its existential horror.

The one genuine truth to come out of this movie is the absurdity of our socially constructed reality. When I was a teenager, I had this fantasy that I suddenly fell and found myself looking back up at my life as if it was a play on a stage. At that moment, I realized that everyone around me, including myself, was an actor playing a role. Suddenly I didn’t know what was real, what was genuine, what was “really me” or “really you,” or if asking for genuineness was even meaningful. You see, unlike The Matrix or “Normal Again”, there is (probably) no conspiracy of machines or demons or other sinister Others creating a false reality for us: we do it to ourselves. We create social rules and mores, roles and constructs for each other, and we create them as individuals for ourselves. And we do it because we’re programmed by nature and nurture to have this deep need for a solid “reality” to live in.

That’s why Normal Again demonstrated the philosophical “problem of the external world” better than The Matrix. Because when Cypher says he wishes he’d taken the blue pill, you know he knows he’s accepting a lie. He wants to live a lie, and it’s made quite clear in the universe of the movie that the world create by the machines is the false world. Buffy is never quite sure which world is the real world. Both worlds–the world of the Sunnydale superhero, and the world of the asylum–are presented by the narrative as in some sense products of her mind and her conflicted needs. Not for Cypher. In the narrative of The Matrix, there is a real world and a fake world in the absolute metaphysical sense, and neither is a product of his needs and wants, he simply chooses one over the other due to his needs and wants.

Buffy, on the other hand, must make a choice between the superhero world and the asylum world without knowing which is “more real” in an absolute metaphysical sense, if either is. Both are presented as “created” out of her differing needs. The demon in the episode merely makes them come alive for her via magic. And in the end, when Buffy makes her choice, it is a choice between which is more real to her as an individual choosing the way she wants to live, as an individual choosing the way she wants to think about herself.

In my teenaged fantasy, I imagined myself superior to those around me because I fell off the stage of life and saw it in all its absurdity. I could see “reality” on a different level than those around me. Unlike them, I didn’t buy into the necessity of the social constructs. I was Neo, choosing the red pill. Yay, me. Now I understand it’s a little more complicated than that. Taking the red pill, seeing the basic non-necessity of our conception of the world, is only the first step. If there is a proper way to conceive the world, who knows if we are even capable of having that conception? We may just have to settle for building a new construct to live in. And that demands choices.

But if, like Morpheus and his gang, we do discover the proper conception world, we still have to live in it, build in it, create it. Cypher was unhappy in the “real world” because it was all fighting, a daily grind of bad food and fear of being caught. Was that “necessary”? Could they have built a better life for themselves in the “real world” than they did?

In so many ways, reality is a choice. So easy to say. But not easy to put into practice. Most of us just end up “taking the blue pill”–accepting the socially constructed world we happen to live in as unavoidably “real.”

Movies and books

Finished “The Man Who Fell to Earth” this morning. A little depressing. It’s heralded as one of the few “realistic” attempts to write about what it might be like to be an alien from outer space living on this planet. The alien comes here intending to build a ship to help the few survivors on his home planet come to Earth, but after five years actually living on Earth, he decides it’s better if all his friends and relatives back home die off and he himself becomes a pathetic drunk.

I’m sure there’s lots of themey goodness here about alienation, loneliness, the wretchedness of human nature and blah blah blibbitey blah, but I don’t get this whole it’s-only-realistic-if-it’s-depressing-and-pessimistic thing. Honestly, the human race has survived for milennia, and sometimes we’ve even had fun!

Which brings me to “Tuck Everlasting”. This was a little nugget. A tightly-plotted fantasy gem with uplifting themes like embracing life and the joy of family and you know, the kind of movie where the greedy snively little guy bites it at the end. Plus gorgeous forest scenery and wonderful prose that is probably from some original book it was based on.

I watch movies like this and after I’m done being misty-eyed at the end, think, “Why can’t I plot my stories like this?” It has the pensive, beautiful introduction to the main character and her basic conflict, the build up of tension with the whole we-might-be-discovered story line, the lazy, happy middle with the romance between Jesse and Winifred, and then the climax as the forces building up throughout the movie all come together–the greedy guy hunting down the Tucks, Winifred’s father actually suceeding in finding his lost daughter, the arrest of the Tucks and Winifred helping to free them. And in the process of knowing them, freeing herself. Well, freeing herself as much as an early-20th century woman could ever be free.

I think the climax in my own story happens in the middle of the novel and then things just sort of slide to a finish for the second half of the book. Hmmm. Hard to say with as many story lines as I’ve got.

The other movie I rented was a film-festival debut called “Under One Roof” about a gay man who rents an apartment in the home of a Chinese-American family in San Francisco. Of course, the Chinese son is gay himself, but living a closeted life with his mother and grandmother, who are trying to marry him off. This movie had some awkward production values and some mediocre acting, but it was very, very, sweet. The film-maker was obviously a professional, but on a very slim budget. It seemed as if he just got his neighborhood buddies together and said, “help me make a movie”.

But that was part of the appeal. You definitely felt like you’d stepped into somebody’s house and were just watching them live their lives. Had almost a “reality tv” feel for it, except with an actual plot and a homey warmth and genuineness to it you don’t get in those exhibitionist reality shows.

Give you hope that just showing people struggling to make things work–and succeeding for the most part–will still sell tickets. Or books.